It’s funny the way things work out and the way Heavenly Father has a plan for every single one of us and that plan is perfect. I feel like I should back this story up and start from the beginning to explain my strong feelings on God’s plan for us.
A few weeks ago, Alex and I found out we were expecting. We’ve been married almost a year now and were just so excited. This was the next step. A few days later, we lost the baby. This is not the first time it has happened to us. To say I was devastated would be a gross understatement. I felt like having a child is the most natural thing a person can do, and I had let Alex down yet again. Of course, he did not feel this way toward me but I projected it onto myself. I reached out to mother who suggested we see a specialist.
In the last few months, my husband and I made some drastic changes in our life. When we met, he was anti-religion. His family is Catholic and that never did anything for him nor did it do anything for me. Now, I am not saying I am anti-Catholicism or anything of the sort. What I am saying is that if you let it, the Holy Ghost will show you where you belong, wherever that place may be.
I grew up with some amazing members down the street from me. I moved into the neighborhood when I was 10 and they immediately took me in. The Walker’s were the first people that were nice to me, always inviting me to go out with them. This was my first glimpse into the Mormon lifestyle and I didn’t even know it.
For those of you who know me well, you know I have a regular tendency to take on too much. What’s the result this tendency the majority of the time – I don’t take care of myself. Despite this fact, I’ve gotten so used to it, it doesn’t even seem to phase me anymore.
I may not notice the effect that this crazy pace has taken on me, but my husband Alex has. After our recent move from Cape May to Pennsylvania, he suggested I take some time off to relax. Being so used to moving “full speed ahead”, I not only dove right into unpacking the house, right into studying and focusing on earning my 3rd college degree. Additionally, I also decided to start looking for a job as well. I’m not used to being so idle and had to find something else to keep me busy.
Having decided to somewhat take Alex’s advice, I decided to opt for a job that promised only to keep me away from home a few hours a day. I soon started a job as a lead preschool teacher. Sadly though, those promised “only a few hours a day’, quickly turned into 45+ hours a week. Suddenly, I found myself in an even crazier pace than usual. Between work and school, I hardly even saw my husband and it was starting to affect our relationship.